Successful Gazing: A Gentler Way to Look Forward
Welcome to our new blog! Welcome to 2015! Welcome to fun, musical ways to build play into health!
Welcome, welcome, welcome!
We are so glad to have you with us. My name’s Michelle Massie and along with Dr. Ben (and lots of other lovingly talented beings) we are starting our year by pushing this little e-boat out into the cyberwaters. And our goal isn’t just to float; it’s to carry you safely to shores you didn’t expect to see! We’d like to create virtual adventures for you; ones that will open your mind, fill your heart and make you laugh. Really laugh. Because nothing in the world is better medicine than that, right??
This is the time for resolutions. For taking stock, for being accountable. For letting go of the old and bringing in the new. It’s a time to rejoice, refresh and renew.
But what if you have a child with a serious medical condition or illness? What if you struggle each day just to achieve the smallest tasks of living? What if you feel like you're in constant survival mode?
It can be a real challenge when you see those around you going about their normal lives; making plans for future trips, new jobs, healthier bodies, remodeled homes. And it’s hard to be reminded time and again that we stand alone, teetering on the ledge of uncertain futures. We toss and turn at night; wondering what will become of our kids when we’re gone: who will care for them? Will they find love? Will they be healthy?
Will they be ok?
The answer is: there is no answer. But we must pull in positivity because without it, we cannot help ourselves or our kids.
So how do you do *that* when you’re barely making it through the next
procedure/appointment/therapy?
Successful Gazing.
Looking at the future can be daunting under the best of circumstances. Throw a child with health challenges into the mix and it can feel downright impossible. But it doesn’t have to be! You can take it in tiny steps; teasing out the good and the positive by degrees. Even in your darkest moment, you can find something to be thankful for. Make that your first building block and start to move forward from there.
Here are some tips for gazing gently into the future:
-Look for one beautiful thing every day. It can be a gesture, a kind word, a flower or a billboard. You’ll be surprised at how many you see once you start looking! Post them to a wall or board where you can see them.
-Create one beautiful thing every day. Keep it S-I-M-P-L-E. Thank someone. Tell someone they look nice. Leave birdseed outside your window. Do a kind deed for someone else. Call someone for no reason. Sing your favorite song the very best you can to someone, even if it’s to yourself! And for cryin’ out loud, keep it short and sweet so that you don’t overwhelm yourself by adding another thing to your to-do list!
-Allow yourself to indulge by seeing your favorite future. Go there, just for a moment. As you are creating it in your mind, notice *everything* that comes up. You’ll begin to see little things here and there that you can accomplish with small amounts of effort (painting a wall your favorite color? Putting an organizing basket in your office? Creating an activity bucket – for both kids and adults – for your child’s hospital room?) Each tiny thing will start to change your plane of current reality. Indeed, it is the only way most meaningful change is ever accomplished!
-Keep Score. I *love* this idea! Over the course of this year, scribble a quick note every time something good happens and pop it into a Good Things Jar. At the end of the year, empty it and take a look. It will make all of your efforts tangible and help keep you uplifted!
-Laugh. Every chance you get. Laughing is serious business: there are loads of health benefits you can see and feel with every chuckle. Norman Cousins healed himself with Marx Brothers Movies. It feels good and keeps you connected to your human-ness. Got some good ways to yuck it up? Share it with us in the comments below! Please send us the videos, games, stories, pictures or music that give you the guffaws. We’ll spread the funny and share it with the rest of this community!
-Stay connected. This is the most important. Nurture your current circle of support by giving back to it in whatever small way you can. Expand it by inviting others in. Enrich it by becoming part of someone else’s. And find websites that give you positive support (like this one, naturally!)
No one can predict the future, of course. But you can find ways to shape and influence it so that it becomes a place where the darkness doesn’t feel so scary…and the light shines a little more brightly.
With Big Love,
~Michelle
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